Change, be sure it comes from the HEART NOT HATE

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Last night I was updating the website, this nugget popped up as I was working: “When we make a change in our behavior from a perspective of beating ourselves up & hating ourselves, the change won’t stick!”

As you know I work with clients as a massage therapist and over the years I’ve heard all kinds of stories.  There’s been an underlying thread in a lot of them these past months that has caught my attention, the thought of changes and WHY they don’t stick keeps coming up. I’d like to share a thought on this.

This week for school has been a thoughtful one. We had to take the Myers-Briggs Personality test. The purpose was to see ourselves and gain a deeper understanding of what drives us in our behaviors and decision making processes, allowing us to better understand our clients and enable us to hold space and guide the client along their journey more effectively.

Through this I discovered that we really don’t see ourselves as we really are due to a biased perspective. That perspective could be based on how we were raised, environment, to what our parents would tell us, example, “You’re not as smart as your brother”. (Yes, sadly, I heard that often, to the point that I USED to believe it)  By gaining insight like this, it helps us to be conscious and observant vs reactive, thus laying a foundation for the ability to be happy, and have honest, healthy interactions with others, but most importantly, with OURSELVES!

Which brings me back to the thought that changes won’t stick when we “hate” on ourselves. The next time you find yourself “hating” yourself about something, anything, like, “That damn scale won’t budge! I think I’ll starve myself for a few days, that’ll get it to budge”. (Yes, this used to be how I would think to myself! No, not a healthy conversation) Yet, I’d go and not eat certain things, thinking I was making a healthy change, only to fall back later on old habits.

Reason? The place or state of mind I was in.  Read it again, does it sound like I was in a happy, loving space when I made the decision to make the change? NO. Changes or shifts as I prefer to call them, only “stick” when made from the HEART, not hate.  Keep in mind our hearts are our souls compass, what’s the saying, “follow your heart, it’ll never steer you wrong”?

Think about that the next time you make a decision, is it coming from your heart?  Or are you in a place of anger and hate?  Yes, this is “deep”, however, since taking the Myers-Briggs test, I have more clarity not only into my relationship with myself but with others, and this week I’ve been able to hold space for others in a more open manner than ever before.

If you’re interested in the test there’s a site or contact me and I can send it you via email. It’s rather insightful and VERY accurate.


In Health & Peace,


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